I attend a Christian school and will be graduating soon. One reason I decided to attend this school was the impression that if I were to be married someday, I would probably have the best chance of finding my future wife here.
Christ tells us to “…not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34) I have assumed that this means that whatever happens in the life of the Christian happens for his own good. (Romans 8:28). However, this is not very easy to do, and I have not really found anything in Scripture about how to stop worrying.
Part of my anxiety comes from certain social situations. I have researched this on-line and found something called “love-shyness.” While I do not agree with much that is associated with this condition (as presented by Brian Gilmartin and others), I do see this as a valid condition (at least one that seems to fit my situation). Psychologists might call this “specific social phobia,” or something similar. Maybe it’s not that bad, but every time I have asked a girl out, I have been rejected. With that rejection comes a certain awkwardness that seems to severely weaken or destroy any connection we might have had before.
After about two years of dragging my feet, I asked one girl out in high school. She essentially said, “Maybe,” and I never heard from her again. When I realized she meant “no,” I was devastated. When I got to college, I didn’t have much desire to start dating until my last year. I asked one girl out, she said the same thing. It just seems that time is running out, and it probably is. Yes, I’m still young, but when someone says, “You still have time” (or something to that effect), but I’m not really convinced.
Your reading of our Lord’s Words in Matthew 6 and Saint Paul’s words in Romans 8 is basically correct. Our Lord bids us to not worry because He has promised to take care of us. All that we truly need, He provides. Romans 8 tells us that there is no situation in the world so evil that God cannot work good for you from it. Consider the cross. We, by our sins, murdered God. God, by His mercy, used that act of murder to win salvation for us murderers. It doesn’t get better than that.
When someone tells you, “You’re still young” and “You still have time,” they’re trying to be kind. They’re trying to make you feel better. They want you to suffer less, and they want you to be comforted. People said that to me, also. It doesn’t work. It makes you wonder how much longer it’s going to be and whether you’re ever going to find true love. It makes your pain feel all the more poignant because it feels like people are not taking it seriously.
I’m not going to do that. You’re hurting, and it’s a bad place to be. But God is working this bad situation for your good. He always will. He loves you. He has gone to the cross to make you His own. He will be faithful to you even in the moment when you think you’ve found the perfect woman for you and she’s just rejected to you.
Go to church. Hear the Word of Absolution. Receive the Lord’s Supper. Know that your eternity is filled with joy and that all the pain of this life will end.
I don’t know if you’ll ever find what you’re looking for, but don’t give up. God is even now working all things for your good. If you are to marry, God is preparing you for your wife and your wife for you.